Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I forgot how hot balto sounded
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
