I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
