im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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