i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
