I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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