I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
