is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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