He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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