her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
