so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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