i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
