I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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