The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
