Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
