She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
