I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
