i just made my gag reflex go away.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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