i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
