Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
