Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
