u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
