I want to have your abortion
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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