The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
