I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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