it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you will always have a special place in my vag
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize