you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I love having hate sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
