My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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