I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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