I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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