UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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