Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize