"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
