So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
