it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
