dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
