I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
