you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
