Life is so much better after having sex.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
