So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
