dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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