is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
