I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
