when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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