then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
