I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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