He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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