:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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