what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Terrible idea I love it
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
