so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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