Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
