Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
