well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
two words: eviction party
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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