If that was your dad, he is hot
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
