Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well you can't waste a boner
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she told me i tasted like america
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Randomize
