my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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