its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
