I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
