You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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